Every January 1, it’s the same thing… “This year my resolutions are…(fill in the blank).”
For me, every year used to be about losing weight, eating healthier, not bingeing, fasting once a week, exercising more…yada yada…
Needless to say, it never really worked. Just like the other 80 percent of the population who “fail” at keeping their New Year’s resolutions.
The changes I tried to make were too grand, too hard, too frustrating, too uncomfortable, and too painful. I just couldn’t keep up with them.
On that note, did you know that the percentage of success drops over 50 percent the minute you try to instill more than one change?
That’s why, a couple of years ago, I shifted my perspective around the “new year”.
I began to think back on my year to see what I might want to release.
What thoughts, behaviors, or activities have moved me away from being happy, joyful, and content?
From there, Release-O-lutions were born.
What is a Release-O-Lution?
It’s the process of letting go of something in your life that clutters it up, frustrates you, brings you down, puts you in a shameful or blameful place, depresses you, makes you anxious, etc.
It is a shift in your focus altogether.
Here are a few things to think about letting go of as we approach 2020.
Regrets:
- I should have…
- If I only…
- Why didn’t I just…
- I wish I had…
Physical items that promote feelings of failure, sadness, anxiety:
- That pair of jeans in your closet, that don’t fit.
- A shirt that you wore when you weighed less.
- That box of “when I lose the weight” clothes.
- The case of Slim-Fast in your basement.
- A shelf of diet books in your living room.
- The scale in your bathroom that has the power to tell you how to feel about yourself.
Assumptions:
- I am not smart (or thin, successful, happy) enough.
- No one likes me.
- I don’t have what it takes.
- I am always messing up.
- I can’t do anything right.
- It doesn’t matter anyway.
- I am not good enough.
Start with just one thing, and release just one assuming thought, one physical item, or one regret.
Making the choice to say, “This thought does not define me” or “I do not want the number on the scale to dictate how I feel about myself.”
Maybe you also need to let go of your inner food critic, or your Judge Foody, as I call her. Here’s how.
My own experience with Release-O-Lutions.
Last month (yes, not even on January 1!), I decided to let go of the assumption that “I am always messing up. I can’t do anything right.”
In my mind, those two phrases come into my brain like a flash flood whenever I “mess” something up.
This negative self-talk is something a lot of us face. Here are 3 tips for more positive self-talk.
I started to blame and shame myself for being stupid and incapable of doing anything right. The phrases swirled around in my head over and over and over if I broke a glass, misspelled something, forgot to call my dad, or pick something up for my husband.
The swirl of negative thoughts invaded my brain so quickly, I would barely know what hit me…and I allowed it to hang around for far too long.
Enough was enough….
Do I mess up sometimes? Yes.
Am I a mess-up? No.
Does beating myself up over mistakes serve anyone? No.
Yet, for a long time, it DID serve me—it allowed me to make an excuse for myself, it allowed me to say, “See, I told you I was stupid!” It prohibited anyone else from telling me that. It protected me from others “confirming” it.
The thought kept me stuck.
On that topic, your relationship with food might also be keeping you stuck. Here’s how to tell and what to do about it.
This assumption and self-deprecating thought dampened my self-esteem, my self-worth, and my value.
I would clam up and withdraw from life, all because of a misplaced “e” or a broken coffee mug.
Missing out on experiences, memories, laughter, conversations, and connections along the way, all because I was in my head beating myself up over and over again.
Choosing a new path.
So, I made the choice to change, take responsibility for my mistakes, and move on.
How long do you want to hold onto things in your closet that make you feel unworthy or thoughts about yourself that hold you back and label you as unworthy?
Releasing is a proactive choice about becoming aware of how your thoughts or your physical environment (like the clothes in your closet) make you feel about yourself, and then making a choice: To hold on or let go.
What will you be releasing in 2020 to find more joy, happiness, and contentment in your life? Let me know in the comments below.
If you want one-on-one help with choosing a new path, let’s talk. Click here to schedule your complimentary clarity session.
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