In a time where so much seems so uncertain, is there a way for you to take back control?
If you’re like many people these days you may be feeling pressured to âdo somethingâ with this uncertain time we are in.
âTake this found time and do something with it!â
âUse this quarantine to complete that project youâve been putting off!”
“Clean that closet, write that book, take that class, learn a new language.”
It seems to be the message everywhere you turn. There’s an underlying wave of societal pressure, much like the familiar feeling of peer pressure to âmake sureâ we use this time wisely.
Checking in
How is it feeling for you?
To me, it feels very much like the same societal and peer pressure women have of looking a certain way and having a certain size body. We’ve been brainwashed over the past 50+ years to lose weight, be fit and thin, and look put together.
It’s assumed that the only way to succeed, be seen, and be taken seriously is if you look a certain way.
Both this push to be productive and to lose weight are bullying techniques from our culture.
Work harder, do more, be better.
It’s exhausting. No wonder we feel like we need to take back control.
Not only may you be at home much of the time (including working from home), you’re also trying to navigate new ways of doing things. A trip to the grocery store needs much more planning and takes much more time. Figuring out how to keep children engaged, learning something, and happy all day takes a team, not just one or two parents. Not only that, with this underlying fog bank of stress and anxiety, you have to navigate everyoneâs moods and behaviors too.
It’s actually perfectly normal to be feeling stressed, anxious, sad, or depressed right now. It’s normal to be feeling lonely and missing your loved ones, wishing you could just give them a hug or kiss. To be desperately seeking some alone time or worried about finances, kids not learning what they âshouldâ be, or overwhelmed by the list of âshouldsâ you keep hearing on TV.
Maybe now is time to take a very real and much-needed rest. To take back control. A rest from the shouldâs, a release from the comparisons, and a letting go of the expectations.
It’s time to take back control
Maybe the last thing you should be thinking about is trying to learn something new or make sure you are âbeing productive.”
Maybe the definition of being productive is to read a fun fictional book on the deck or to give yourself permission to binge on Netflix or take a nap. These types of things can be the most productive things you could do for not only your brain and your body, but also for your family.
Let society and other people do what THEY want or need to do. Just because your neighbor signed up for that class or your friend overhauled her garden doesnât mean you have to follow suit. It reminds me of the old sayingâŚIf everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?
I have come to the conclusion that this is the perfect time for me to take some much-needed rest. I was also feeling this sense of pressure to work harder, take advantage of this time, get your book done, create that course, clean out that office!
So, what do you do when you are feeling confused, overwhelmed, and uncertain? You ask for help. That’s exactly what I did. I talked to my mindset coach Dave and he shared this 4-question framework with me.
Shift your perspective
These questions have completely shifted my perspective and expectations.
- What’s the one thing I will do for myself today for fun and relaxation? (And YES, it’s true: exercise and movement CAN be fun!)
- What is one thing I will do with or for my partner, friend, or family member today?
- What’s one thing I can do for the business (or work) today?
- What is one thing I want to do for my home today?
- How can I contribute today?
By answering these most mornings I have released myself from the pressures of the should doâs and the have toâs. I have released myself from the pursuit of Perfectionist Patty. I’ve been able to take back control of my days and made a deal with myself. I will not succumb to the pressure of society or of othersâŚjust as I did over 6 years ago when I kicked diets to the curb and said NEVER AGAIN.
That decision proved to be one of the best I ever made, and so has this. It has brought me more joy, happiness, peace, and freedom to an otherwise very tense and stressful time.
Choosing to take back control of my day
Yesterday my day looked like this: I took a morning walk to see the sunrise, alone. This was for me. I had a nice picnic breakfast on the deck to share time with my husband. I spent some time posting on social media for the business. Then I did the dishes after dinner for home. Yesterday I also gave blood. Some of my other contributions might be things like donating to a special organization, help a friend, write a review, or volunteer somewhere. Check, check, check, check, and check.
We are still living in a time where there are a lot of unknowns and much of our lives are feeling out of controlâŚyet we still do have control over quite a bit (if we choose to look at it like that). What can you control? How can you take back control in YOUR way?
Getting outside, what you choose to eat, how you move your body, how you take care of yourself, how you can make a difference, and how you talk to yourself are just a few. It comes down to taking a step back to look at your days differently. Maybe it means prioritizing self-care again, or for the first time (here’s how).
Give the 4-question framework a try, it may allow you to find out what is most important to you and your family right now. If you would like some help finding your way, schedule a time to chat here.
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