Every January 1, we always hear the same thing… “This year my resolutions are…(fill in the blank).” and it always revolves around weight, food, eating or exercise with the women that I work with. And we know that dieting, restricting and over exercising DO NOT WORK!
So, needless to say, within a few weeks or months, the new “plan” has been thrown in the trash. If the resolution had worked, we wouldn’t have to keep making the same resolutions over and over again!
A few years ago, I started experimenting with “New Year’s Resolutions”.
Instead of looking forward and seeing what I wanted to change, I began to think back on my year to see what I want to shift, or what I want to release instead. (Check out the top 10 year-end questions blog here). What thoughts, behaviors, or activities have moved me away from being happy, joyful, and content?
Did you know that over 85% of the population fail their New Year’s resolutions within the first 5 weeks of the new year? With this in mind, my release-O-lutions were born.
What is a Release-O-Lution?
It’s the process of letting go of something in your life that clutters it up, frustrates you, brings you down, puts you in a shameful or blameful place, depresses you, makes you anxious, etc.
Things you might release include:
Regrets:
- I should have…
- If I only…
- Why didn’t I just…
- I wish I had…
Physical items that promote feelings of failure, sadness, anxiety:
- That pair of jeans in your closet, that don’t fit.
- The old box of “when I lose the weight” clothes.
- A case of Slim-Fast in your basement.
- That shelf of diet books in your living room.
- The scale in your bathroom that has the power to tell you how to feel about yourself.
Assumptions:
- I am not smart (or thin, successful, happy) enough.
- No one likes me.
- I don’t have what it takes.
- I am always messing up.
- I can’t do anything right.
- It doesn’t matter anyway.
- I am not good enough.
Start with one thing.
Release just one assuming thought, one physical item, or one regret.
This is about taking a stand and making a hard choice. “I choose to not let what others think about me define who I am or bring me down” or “I choose to forgive myself for making that mistake last year” (or 10 years ago!)
My experience with Release-O-Lutions.
This last year I decided to finally let go of the “should have’s” I have continued to think about in regards to certain conversations I did not handle the way I wish I had. Every time I thought about them, my mind would go back to “Why did I say that? Why didn’t I say it like this? Why am I so stupid”. I would re-live the experience, along with the emotions and the feelings.
I paid the price of regret and sadness when it happened, yet each time I thought about it, I would pay the price of pain, sadness, frustration and disappointment with myself over and over again. I had to start to ask myself, when had I suffered the pain enough?
This negative self-talk regret is something a lot of us face. Here are 3 tips for more positive self-talk.
Enough was enough. The thoughts were keeping me stuck in the past. It was time to look at what I had control over and what I didn’t. I took responsibility for myself and my actions and stepped forward in my truth.
Do I mess up sometimes? Yes. Does beating myself up over my mistakes serve me? No.
The assumptions and self-deprecating thoughts lowered my self-esteem, my self-worth, and my value.
Choosing a new path.
I made the choice to change, take responsibility for my mistakes, and move on.
How long do you want to hold onto things in your closet that make you feel unworthy or thoughts about yourself that hold you back and label you as unworthy?
Releasing is a proactive choice about becoming aware of how your thoughts or your physical environment (like the clothes in your closet) make you feel about yourself, and then making a choice: To hold on or let go.
What will you be releasing in 2022 to find more joy, happiness, and contentment in your life?
Would you like company on your journey? Join the Body Joyful Revolution! A community of women empowering women to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies and their decisions. There are exclusive tips and resources there too, to help you on your journey. Join us in the Body Joyful Revolution Here
Updated blog post from 12/21/2020
