“What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare.” —W. H. Davies
Believe it or not the holidays are just around the corner. That means, much like the Halloween witch or goblin, fear is lurking. Many people get anxious and fearful this time of year. Worried about parties, gifts, finances, food, family gatherings and “making sure everything is perfect”. I know all too well; I was one of them.
There is another thing lurking…added stress. Great, after a year and a half of full-on covid and political stress, we now get to add this! (Insert sarcastic tone here).
Stress kicks in
The time between Halloween and the New Year has always increased personal stress. So, with that said, this year…it has never been more important to plan your own self-care or “down time”
On a “normal” day, this is the usual scenario: the alarm goes off in the morning and off you go. Shower, breakfast, walk the dog, get dressed, feed kids, make lunches, answer emails, make appointments, do errands, go to work…The list of to-dos and chores are endless.
As soon as the holidays hit though, we add: conversations with family, get togethers, shopping for gifts, planning meals, prepping, and cooking meals, cleaning homes “to be seen by in-laws” and parties…to plan, take kids too, go to yourself, cook for, clean for, decorate for, buy clothes for, etc.
Just writing this all makes me anxious and stressed! It is no wonder we are all exhausted by the time New Year’s rolls around, and I, for one, am usually in bed by 9am.
It doesn’t have to be this way. The Holidays can be enjoyed, by making sure you are:
Taking care of yourself.
Taking a moment for yourself can make a world of difference. But usually, finding this moment becomes more of a wish than an actual event.
AND even then, when you get it? …You feel guilty about doing something for yourself “because your list is so long” OR “I should be doing ….” OR You have no idea what to do with it, because “your list is so long”
Finding borrowed time…
Your appointment/meeting/conference call/kids’ volleyball game/zoom just got cancelled last minute…
Congratulations! You have now become the winner of one unexpected free hour!
What will you do with this windfall of TIME?
Answer your email? Go shopping for gifts? Plan out that party? Return to the project you were working on before you had to leave? Pay bills? Return phone calls?
Never, do we consider doing nothing or engaging in self-care. And why not? Because our society has told us that is lazy, selfish and unproductive.
What if I told you, that this found hour (or 30 minutes) can have way more physical and emotional benefits than most anything? Well, it can. (more about the benefits HERE) Taking that found hour for yourself, can fill your cup for another day, another challenge, another trauma, another success….
Self-care & downtime reduce stress
It will reduce stress, increase your immune system, increase your mood, focus and productivity for the next few hours!
If you’re like many of us today, the thought of doing absolutely nothing for an entire hour seems as wasteful as throwing a week’s worth of groceries out with the garbage. Indeed, free time with nothing to do can generate near panic among some of us who are overloaded and time starved.
“We seem to have a complex about busyness in our culture,” says Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul. “Most of us do have time in our days that we could devote to simple relaxation, but we convince ourselves that we don’t.” Yet, during this time of year, taking a moment for ourselves can impact everyone around you.
It’s interesting, the harder we push, the more we tend to push. And in reality, the more we push, the more we need to replenish ourselves. As Stephan Rechtschaffen, author of Timeshifting, says, “Each of us needs some time that is strictly and entirely our own, and we should experience it daily.”
The importance of this downtime…
…Should not be overstated. It is essential self-care. If we take it, we see more clearly, we hear more keenly, we’re more inspired, and we can discover what makes us feel alive.
On some level, we know this already. But claiming time for ourselves, is often labeled “unproductive”. It feels uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and even foreign.
It is time to establish formal boundaries around your idle time, found time or self-care time to ensure that you honor it.
Found Time = Self-Care Time
- Have a “self-date” jar or list. Read a book, take a nature walk, watch a movie, take a nap. Get to know types of things you enjoy.
- Schedule it on your calendar and stand firm. Learn how to say “no” to co-workers, children, a spouse, or a friend. Honor yourself and your quiet time. It helps to fill your cup so you can be more present with them later.
- Be on the lookout for stolen moments. Like the canceled dental appointment to sit on a park bench watching pigeons.
- Practice doing nothing. “Doing nothing” is an art, and like all art it takes practice. The more you do it the easier it gets.
- Step out on your porch/deck/front step and take 6 deep breaths (research shows this helps shift you into a more relaxed state)
How we define this idle time (found time, self-care time) varies from person to person. For example, for one person, gardening may be meditative downtime, whereas for another, it is one baking a nice dessert for the family.
You do You.
What feels good to you (for ideas check out creating a self-care toolbox)
The woods or the beach are a great place to stroll through. It is an opportunity to be in and with nature: for another, it’s a great place for an “podcast” walk.
Do something that has no purpose today other than JOY. Take a half-hour a day to surprise and delight yourself. Keep it simple and keep it consistent. If your idle time becomes a “program,” It will become a benefit to all those around you.
It’s stunning, how simple it really is.
“Be kinder to yourself. And then let your kindness flood the world.” ― Pema Chodron
Click here for a complimentary conversation to learn more about ways to implement self-care and decrease stress.
