The clock clicked to 4:11am, and the alarm sounded-piercing into my head, it was time for my run. I paused for a moment and had a flashback of the night before… I had to get up and run, there was no choice. I have to burn off the calories I ate last night. Why did I do that AGAIN, I thought. I had to “purge” the previous nightâs binge.
Inner Critic Messages
Tears streamed down my face as I tied up my sneakers. The shame was overbearing. Â My head was swirling with thoughts like:
- âWhy am I so stupid?â
- âI have no control.â
- âI am such a pig.â
- âI am a fat slob.â
- âI am such a frigginâ loser….I am …I am âŚâ
This critical and degrading voice continued for the next hour and a half as I pounded the pavement during my run in the early morning hours. This beating up of myself had become a daily ritual.
When Old Ways Donât Work
I lived my life chronically going on and off diets, restricting foods, counting calories, exercising compulsively, and trying new weight loss trends. Not only for myself mind you, but also for my clients. Because I spent my days and nights working as a group exercise instructor and personal trainer, only to discover that none of these ways worked…for any of us. They did however, cause shame, guilt, anxiety, worry, disgust, feelings of failure and loss of self-esteem and self-worth.
I know as a smart, educated professional with integrity and commitment to get the women I worked with the best results they sought and deserved, that there had to be a better, more effective, efficient and compassionate way!
The Search for a Better Way
So, began a three-year journey of self-discovery to identify the best practices, methods, mentors and teachers who could help me learn, grow and change my failed approach to transforming my clientsâ and my own relationship with food, eating, weight and body image once and for all.
The criteria I used was very simple. A better way to health needed to:
- Be backed by the scientific community.
- Work in the real world with busy stressed out, even overwhelmed women of all shapes, sizes, weights and ages.
- Have a proven record of success with sustainable results over both the short and long-term.
- Take into account the role that the “three Ms – Mind, Mouth & Movement” play in achieving peace with food, eating, weight and body image.
- Be a process that was fun, enjoyable and doable as we go through the many different seasons of our life, from adolescence through the 20s and 30s, motherhood, empty-nester, experienced senior citizen, to wisdom and wise elder in their 80s and beyond.
- Educate, support and empower women to confidently and courageously learn to Love What Is, Live with Joy and Connect More Deeply with Themselves and Others.
Something Was Missing
What I discovered was that no one really had the answer I was looking forâŚ
… that is people within different industries, like health and wellness professionals, doctors, teachers, so-called experts, individuals, and organizations.
They had pieces but something was missing. It wasnât all there. I discovered and gathered many of the pieces but not all. It was like a puzzle I had mostly figured out, but still had empty spaces.
I Began With Me
My first step was to actually take a closer look at my own journey. Â So, I started blogging. I began sharing some very vulnerable stories about my eating disorder. Â As I did, I was surprised by the amount of other women who had experienced the same type of struggles.
I knew right then, where to go. Right back to Plymouth State University where I did my undergraduate work (back in the fabulous 80s). Â They had a graduate program to become an Eating Disorder Specialist. I already knew that overeating and binge eating were oftentimes used to medicate what was really bothering me. What I didnât realize until this program, was that there was a real medical and chemical component to why I turned to overeating and binging.
Shaping Perspectives Takes Shape
During this experience at Plymouth State, I found out so much more about myself. I was introduced to the HAES (Health at Every Size) community, along with the stunning statistics around dieting, restricting, BMI and more.
An eye-opening experience happened during my Treatment Modalities Class with Dr. Kari Anderson. I was assigned a case study of a 52 year old, divorced binge eating woman with a stressful job. (Hmmm, let the real work begin.) This is where the Shaping Perspectives 5 step system started. I dove into this project with all my heart.
As I was researching to âhelpâ this woman, I discovered Intuitive Eating. Before I knew it, I was enrolled in the Intuitive Eating Certification course as well, by the founder of Intuitive Eating, Â Evelyn Tribole.
I was blown away when I learned about how the diet mentality and societyâs thin ideal had been wreaking havoc on womenâs bodies, lives and their relationships with other women. Along with that was how my own relationship with food, weight and body image negatively impacted my own childrenâs minds, bodies and self-esteem. UGH. This was hard work.
Moving Forward
My conclusion after all this research and knowledge? It was quite stunning, really.
Dieting, restricting or denying food because of the impact on oneâs weight, shape or size rather than based upon internal cues such as hunger and satiety has and will continue to lead to disordered eating, eating disorders, poor body image and even body hate and distrust. The research supports this âŚ. 97% women have at least one I hate my body moment a day. Girls as young as 5 and 6 years old are going on diets because they think they are too fat. It is everywhere you turn.
Itâs More Than Food
The biggest ah-ha I had was that eating is only a small part of this whole equation. Â I spent over 90% of my time obsessing over food choices, thoughts, calories and calculations, and it really only could ever make a small difference.
Interestingly enough, it is our MIND that actually has the biggest role in all of this. Understanding this, and with the guidance of my âSelf-Talk Trainerâ husband, I decided to get trained to become a Self-Talk Trainer too, by one of the pioneers in the field, Dr. Shad Helmstetter. This is where I learned that if we donât change our negative self-talk and critical inner voice we WILL stay stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated, un-changed and the change process or transformation will be nearly impossible. The neuroscientists have the proof, itâs called neuroplasticity and itâs the capacity of the brain to wire and re-wire itself simply by listening to the right type of self-talk and shifting our responses.
This learning and training time with Shad himself was amazing. There was something that had shifted in my thoughts. I was no longer beating myself up, calling myself stupid, fat, lazy, and a failure…I was actually growing to like myself! Â So, why not take it another step? To use Shadâs trainings to become a life coach.
Stay tuned for part 2 of âPutting an End to Dietsâ…
Are you ready to put an end to diets in your life? Grab your free YOU ARE ENOUGH Finally Free Fit and Fabulous 5 step guide to peace with food, eating, weight and body image.
