How do you feel about your body?
If you are like most women, you have days where you struggle. As a matter of fact, over 90% of us have “I hate my body!” moments every day, and the fact that 80% of our thoughts repeat day after day, makes for a lot of negative thoughts around our body image.
Why is it that we struggle so much with accepting the body that we have? Our bodies came from the destined meeting of a one-of-a-kind sperm, and a one-of-a-kind egg? I mean, really, aren’t we all supposed to look different and BE DIFFERENT from one another?
Fitting In
I spent most of my life trying to fit into a body size that would be acceptable to everyone around me. It is no wonder I succumbed to feelings of disappointment, frustration, shame, judgment, criticism, and self-loathing.
It was only when I made these 3 radical decision. (1) To throw my scale away for good. (2) Vow never to diet again, and (3) Reject diet culture and society’s “thin ideal” (The pressure to look a specific way or a specific size/shape-which, by the way, is always changing) that I began to not hate my body.
Hating my body was not working for me, but thinking about loving my body (after a lifetime of hatred) wasn’t even a remote possibility.
Body Neutrality
I found myself searching for something in the middle. This is where body neutrality enters the picture. I decided I could choose to stop hating my body, while choosing to feel OK about not being able to love it either. I could simply feel neutral about it.
What does Body Neutrality (or feeling body neutral) mean?
Body Neutrality means focusing on the function of your body, rather than its appearance. It means appreciating what your body does on a second to second and minute to minute basis (mindfulness). It means appreciating the experiences you have had (from the amazing to the hard) up until this moment in time, because, without your body, you wouldn’t have any of those memories or experiences.
Our body, is the vehicle or vessel we experience our lives in. Period. No more, no less. That is Body Neutrality. It is honoring and respecting the vehicle you live in every day.
To start thinking this alternative way can be hard. I get it. This is where you have the opportunity to make a decision. You can choose to live in the story you have told yourself for decades, that:
~When you just… (lose the weight, fit into that size)…Then I will be happy, then I will be enough, then I will be accepted….
Choosing a different story
Or you can choose a different story, a new one. A body neutral one. One where you start notice and appreciating the things your body does for you. Starting this practice might feel uncomfortable at first, but that’s only because you haven’t practiced it yet. Whenever we try something new, it takes some time to get used to it. This is no different.
Imagine, 3 years from now, still thinking that you are not good enough, fit enough, smart enough, strong enough, thin enough…. whatever enough. How will you be living your life? What will you be saying no to?
Changing your thoughts
You have the ability to change your thoughts…your beliefs…your stories, anytime you want. If you are living a life (a story) in self-loathing and body hatred, maybe it is time to step out of that story. Turn the page and decide to write a new story. One that has you realizing that your body has done some pretty cool things. Or maybe your story is that you realize your body is your home and hating it hasn’t been helpful so far.
How to Embrace Body Neutrality
Here are 7 ways to start to respect, honor and nurture that one-of-a-kind body of yours.
- Start a body gratitude practice. Every evening, write down 3 things your body did that day. It could be carrying the groceries, swinging on a swing, sweeping the floor, drinking coffee, watching your daughter score a goal.
- Listen to what your body is telling you (it will tell you what it needs) Our bodies are like flashing yellow lights. They try hard to get our attention, yet so many times we don’t listen. Start listening to what your body is trying to tell you. I am angry, I am hungry, I am sad, I am tired…then honor that, if you can.
- Shift the negative self-talk. When your thoughts start beating you up, NOTICE. Take a deep breath and let yourself know, this thought, this voice is not helpful. Then, counter that thought with something you would say to your best friend. Something kind, compassionate and caring. (Yes, this might feel weird, and uncomfortable. Do it anyway!)
- Throw your scale away. Also, know you can say “No” when you’re asked to step on the scale at the doctor’s office. They don’t need your weight, (unless they are prescribing a specific dose of a medicine)
- Focus on your strengths. Those things that you are good at, that make you feel happy, light, proud. You have them. Give yourself permission to accept, enjoy and honor them. (If you don’t know what they are, ask a friend or family member-they will be able to tell you)
- Clean up your social media feeds. If you find yourself feeling bad, criticizing, or comparing yourself to someone else as you scroll through Instagram, block whoever is triggering those feelings. Start filling your feed with posts and people that inspire you and make you feel good about yourself.
- Wear clothes you feel comfortable in. Try on clothes facing away from the dressing room mirror, and just notice how the clothing feels on your body. Squat down, lift your arms overhead, notice the texture of the material. Feel good? Turn around. Feel tight, uncomfortable, scratchy, just plain yucky? Take it off and hang it back up.
You deserve to treat yourself the same way you would treat the 5-year-old you, because she is you and you are enough. You always have been, just as you are. And you will always be enough. It is up to you to choose to believe it.
Looking for help to find your enough-ness? Schedule a body neutrality chat. Your body deserves it.
